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35 No homework. Don’t stand gawping, man. —"A famous university," observes Ned Ward, in the London Spy, "where, if a man has a mind to educate a hopeful child in the daring science of padding; the lightfingered subtlety of shoplifting: the excellent use of jack and crow; for the silently drawing bolts, and forcing barricades; with the knack of sweetening; or the most ingenious dexterity of picking pockets; let him but enter in this college on the Common Side, and confine him close to his study but for three months; and if he does not come out qualified to take any degree of villainy, he must be the most honest dunce that ever had the advantage of such eminent tutors. He had saluted her with elaborate civility, his eyes distended with indecipherable meanings. Only an undermaid I was then. “Tut, tut!” he said. “You know very well that she is selfish and pleasure-loving to the backbone.

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